Maybe, but maybe not. It's certainly popular to talk about the invisible load or the cognitive load, but my question always is, 'What are the standards and did both parties agree to them?'

The fact is being a stay-at-home parent is kind of a privilege. Some of the standards in the home that lifestyle affords a., aren't necessary, and b., aren't attainable when both parents are working.

In this scenario, if the guy is working 12-hour days, and the wife goes back to work, is he still going to work 12 hours days? What if he only works 10-hour days? How much of a standard is he going to pick up, if he didn't/doesn't agree to the standard?

How a household runs should be a conversation between two consenting adults. And whether it's regarding the financial load or the cognitive load, some things still have to give.